1152 Self-conceit.... self-realization....

October 29, 1939: Book 20

This is man's worst enemy, that self-conceit does not leave him, for he is then as it were without self-realization.... He sees himself in a false light and therefore does nothing but exalt it instead of humbly calling himself to account, recognizing his faults and shortcomings and combating them. Every striving for perfection must be preceded by realization, but he who sees himself in the mirror of righteousness and inviolability does not strive upwards but thinks he is already at the top; he also has no desire for higher development because he does not realize his inadequate state of maturity. And he will also rarely accept a hint in this respect since he is aware of his value and is therefore extremely distant from truly recognizing the state of his soul. And so it will be very difficult to make the necessity of striving for perfection clear to a person who is convinced of the value of his personality, for he will always find this appropriate in his fellow human beings but never in himself.... He does not regocnize his own greatest fault and therefore finds it difficult to find the path to knowledge.... he has a certain excessive sense of self that prevents him from humbly entrusting himself to the father in heaven, and so this sense of self is the greatest enemy of his soul.... he does not bow before the father.... and much less does he serve.... And this prevents him from developing his soul higher, for a person cannot achieve anything high if he does not consciously strive for it.... and again he will not strive for something he believes he possesses. Only those who think they are small and weak ask for help.... But the great and strong do not think they need it. And so he comes away empty-handed and ultimately has no ascent to expect, because every height must be striven for. If a person's sense of self is so strongly developed, then the distance from the eternal deity is not quite understandable to him, and he does nothing to reduce this distance.... On the contrary, he still allows the earthly world to have an effect on him so that the distance from God becomes ever more noticeable, for he believes himself to be so knowledgeable that he rejects everything offered to him for the salvation of his soul as superior, always starting from the point of view of his inviolability and his value. He regards himself as exemplary and does not want to accept anyone else, he does not accept any teachings and continues to reject them if a transformation of his nature is demanded of him, for this seems to him to be superior to everything and yet is the greatest obstacle on the path to true realization, for only he who believes himself to be in the deepest depths can attain the heights.... for the latter sincerely asks God for His help, which is lovingly granted to him by the father, whereas the latter does not believe himself to be so needy as to ask for the father's help and therefore cannot ascend without any help....

Amen

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